How To Argue Safely, fight fair and smarter.

parents arguing in front of a child

Fighting Fair: Fight Smarter

Relationships are never a bed of roses. Every couple goes through rough patches that demand a fair amount of conflict resolution. Continue reading to learn how to argue safely, fight fair and smarter.

However, how you argue with your partner can either strengthen or
damage your bond. Unfortunately, many people do not know how to fight fair. This can lead to long-lasting relationship problems. Below are some of the fair fighting rules in a relationship.

Listen to each other.
Listening to each other is one of the essential rules of fighting fair in relationships. It is critical to acknowledge that everyone has different perspectives, experiences, and emotions that shape their understanding of a situation.

When we argue, it is essential to hear and respect each other’s points of
view without interrupting or invalidating them.

Listening is not just about hearing the words that someone says. It is also about understanding the underlying message and the emotions behind it. It is essential to be present and fully engaged in the
conversation. Doing this gives the other person your undivided attention.

Avoid multitasking or getting distracted, which may make the other person feel unimportant or disrespected.

When listening to each other, it is crucial to avoid judgment or criticism. Instead, try to empathize with the other person’s perspective, even if you disagree.

Acknowledge the other person feelings and concerns. This will validate their experience by saying things like “I understand why you feel that way” or “That must be frustrating for you.”

Finally, listening also involves being open to feedback and criticism. When someone gives you feedback, try not to get defensive or dismissive. Instead, try to understand where they are coming from and how you can improve.

Remember that feedback is not a personal attack, but an opportunity for growth and learning.

Stick to the issue.
Sticking to the issue is one of the most important rules of fighting fair in relationships. Arguments can be very emotional, and when we are upset, it can be easy to bring up past hurts, unrelated issues, or
irrelevant topics.

However, if you want to argue without damaging your bond, it is essential to stick to the issue at hand. Focusing on the present issue makes you more likely to find a solution and resolve the conflict.

If you start to bring up past mistakes or unrelated issues, it can quickly turn into a blame game. Then, the original problem can become lost. It can also make your partner feel attacked, and they may start to feel
defensive, which can escalate the situation.

Sticking to the issue also shows your partner that you respect and value their opinion. When you stay on topic, it helps to keep the conversation productive and helps to prevent any misunderstandings. If you
are unsure about what the issue is, take a moment to reflect. Reflect on what you are feeling and try to articulate it as clearly as possible.

Another important thing to remember when sticking to the issue is to avoid using generalizations. Instead, focus on specific behaviors or incidents that are causing the problem.

For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” you could say, “I feel unheard when you interrupt me during our conversations. Sticking to the issue is a crucial rule to follow during arguments.

Avoid blame and name-calling.
Avoiding blame and name-calling is an essential rule for fighting fair in relationships. When arguments arise, it’s easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment. This may begin the blaming and name-calling. But this behavior can be incredibly damaging to your bond.

Blaming and name-calling are hurtful and can make your partner feel attacked and defensive. It’s important to remember that the goal of an argument is to find a resolution. It is not to prove that you’re right or your partner is wrong.

When you start assigning blame, you shift the focus away from finding a
solution and onto who’s at fault. In addition, name-calling is disrespectful and can be incredibly damaging to your partner’s self-esteem.

It’s important to remember that what we say in an argument can stick with our partner long after the argument ends.

It’s also important to take responsibility for your actions and reactions. Rather than blaming your partner for how you’re feeling, take ownership of your emotions and express them in a productive way.

This helps to create a safe and respectful environment for communication and can help you to avoid damaging your bond.

Taking a break if necessary.

The goal of taking a break is to prevent any escalation of the
argument. A break avoids verbal or physical abuse, hurting the partner, or damaging the relationship.

Take a break if necessary, it is one of the essential fighting fair rules in relationships. This can help couples argue without damaging their bond. It is an important principle to follow, especially when emotions are
running high during a disagreement.

Sometimes, when couples argue, they get caught up in their emotions, and the argument becomes heated. At this point, it may be difficult for one or both partners to remain rational, calm, and respectful.

If the argument reaches this stage, it is essential to take a break. It is vital to take time out to cool off, regain perspective, and think about the argument from a more rational and respectful point of view.

Taking a break can mean different things for different couples. For some couples, it may mean taking a walk, going for a run, or engaging in other physical activities that help relieve stress.

For others, it may mean taking a few deep breaths or meditating to calm down.

Choose an Activity

Choosing an activity that works best for you and your partner. This helps you regain your sense of calm and balance is important.

The duration of the break is also important. It should be long enough to allow both partners to calm down. But not too long that it creates distance between them. It is essential to agree on a specific time
to resume the conversation and stick to it.

This helps to avoid any feelings of abandonment or disregard
for the other partner’s feelings.

Don’t stonewall your partner.
Stonewalling is a common issue in many relationships. It is a communication style where one partner withdraws or shuts down during an argument, refusing to engage or communicate. This can be
frustrating and hurtful to the other partner, who may feel ignored and invalidated.

To avoid stonewalling your partner, practicing active listening and responding to their concerns is important.

This means hearing their words and understanding their emotions and perspective. It is important to acknowledge their feelings and make them feel heard and validated.

When discussing a disagreement, remaining calm and avoiding getting defensive is crucial. This means not attacking your partner or blaming them for the issue. Instead, focus on finding a solution together
and compromising where necessary.

If you find yourself struggling with stonewalling, take a break from the conversation and return when you are feeling more composed. This will help you to communicate more effectively and avoid further
damage to your relationship.

Maintaining fair rules in relationships is vital to ensure that arguments do not damage the bond between partners.

When arguing, avoiding blame games and focusing on the issue at hand is essential. By expressing one’s feelings and needs in a respectful and non-confrontational way. Couples can communicate more effectively and resolve conflicts without causing emotional harm to one another.

It is also crucial to listen actively, compromise, and apologize when necessary. This will show that you value your partner and their feelings.

By following these guidelines, couples can create a healthy and loving
relationship built on mutual respect and understanding.

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